It’s A Hard Knock Life

Even though I enjoy this job, it’s tough being a hooker sometimes. Here’s some shit I have to deal with.

1. Getting stared down when entering a hotel. When you’re all done up in heels and a dress, standing by the lobby all by yourself, everyone knows what you are. 
2. Urinary tract infections...
3. Having to ask “I don’t mean to be awkward or rude… But could you please take another shower?” - Because I guess washing under the skin is so hard..
4. Bad breath… & Terrible kissing
5. Very large clients (doing the splits whilst trying to mount the penis of a fat guy isn’t an easy task)
6. Wondering when the guy’s gonna cum after nearly an hour of fucking, sucking, and wrist work...
7. Dirty talking. I never understood it. I try not to laugh and cringe at the same time.
8. Awkward moments between when a client finishes and when he’ll be out the door? Or when I should say “well, it’s time for me to get going!"
9. Roleplaying. This leads back to dirty talking. I once agreed to a roleplay where I had to be this guy’s 12 year old daughter, and I enslave him to be my fucktoy. I guess he was just a pedophile dealing with his fantasy in a ‘normal’ and ‘legal’ way. That was the first and last time.
10. Clients bailing on me. You could’ve told me before I got out of bed, showered, shaved, put my face on, curled my hair, and chosen my negligee... Not 10 minutes before.
11. When I get asked for selfies....
12. This doesn’t happen much to me, but when I was pimping I’d get heaps of clients trying to bargain for a girl’s rate. Some of their excuses were that they’re students and couldn’t afford much. I’m sorry… I don’t think there’s any Donate-Some-Pussy charities out there.
13. Kissing and cuddling. I have clients that love doing that for hours. The most mentally draining part of the job. I guess that’s the ultimate girlfriend experience.
14. Receiving head. Most men don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve achieved the ‘O’ before, but most of the time I would rather give than receive.
15. Asking for unprotected sex. Now this astounds me...
16. Dating. Probably one of the hardest challenge. Do I hide my profession? Or let guilt get the best of me, confess, and cross my fingers hoping he’ll accept me… Or get ready to be dumped?
17. Telling men that you’re a hooker. I mean in everyday civilian life when you’re out and socialising. I get asked moronic questions like how much I’d charge to take me out, would I fuck them for half price, and then get sexually cracked onto in every single way. Being open and honest has its set backs. Common sense tells me to just say I flip burgers or something… I know, and I should.